The biggest mistake you can ever make is trying to fight the narcissist without knowing how. You see, narcissists are also notoriously manipulative. They are more skilled at getting what they want from others through dirty tactics like guilt, pity, and flattery. So if you’re dealing with a narcissist in your life and you want to turn the tables, hoping to punish them, here are ten ways you can make narcissists suffer.
#1. Ignore them.
Ignoring a narcissist can really get under their skin. They’re so wrapped up in their own importance that being ignored frustrates them to no end. Ignoring them is pretty simple and can be done in different ways. You can flat-out ignore them, like not responding to their texts or emails, or you can indirectly ignore them by not letting them get involved in your life. The key is to show them that you couldn’t care less about what they think or feel. That really hits them where it hurts. It makes them feel like they’re losing control, which is their worst nightmare. They hate feeling weak and vulnerable, so ignoring them can really get to them.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
#2. Confident in yourself and your abilities.
Narcissists will suffer if you are confident in yourself and your abilities. They tend to avoid being around people who exude self-assurance and confidence. They feel threatened by those who don’t seek their validation. Instead, they’ll try to bring you down to lift themselves up. They’ll seize any opportunity to undermine you and make you feel inferior. When you’re confident in yourself, it’s much harder for them to manipulate or control you. They thrive on having power over others, so your confidence disrupts their game. If someone challenges their sense of superiority, they become quite angry. They want you to doubt yourself, to feel dependent on them. But if you’re secure in who you are, you’re less likely to fall into their traps, and that really bothers them.
#3. Be happy with your own life.
Making a narcissist suffer can be as simple as living a happy life on your own terms. They’re so focused on themselves that they can’t stand it when others find joy without them. Show them how content you are with your life. Don’t rely on them for emotional support or validation. Find it elsewhere, in things that truly bring you happiness, like friends, family, and hobbies. Narcissists don’t want you to be happy. It’s not that they don’t care about your happiness; they just want you to be as miserable as possible so they can feel better about themselves. But don’t let their presence stop you from living your best life and finding happiness.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
#4. Don’t let their criticism bother you.
If you want to get under a narcissist’s skin, don’t let their criticisms get to you. They’re notorious for being critical and enjoy making others feel bad. It can be tough not to take it personally, but try not to let their words affect you. People with low self-esteem often put others down to feel better about themselves. Instead of getting upset, remind yourself that their words don’t define you. They’re just projecting their own insecurities onto you. Never feel guilty for being confident in who you are. If they criticize you, remember that their opinion doesn’t hold any weight in your life.
#5. Don’t take anything they say personally.
Narcissists frequently act solely for their benefit. They want to win and be right all the time. They want to get what they want, whether it means stepping on your feelings or making you feel bad along the way. Because narcissists are masters of manipulation, what they say to you is never about you. It’s about their own emotions and needs. Narcissists are excellent at making you believe everything revolves around you, even when this is false. They’re just trying to get under your skin and get you to react. So don’t give in. If the narcissist says something hurtful to you or tries to make you feel bad about yourself, simply let it go. Don’t let it bother you. It won’t help to let their words influence how you see yourself.
#6. Don’t give them any attention.
Narcissists are all about serving their own interests. They’re fixated on winning and being right, even if it means hurting your feelings along the way. They’re skilled at manipulation, so what they say is never really about you; it’s about them and what they want. They’re experts at making you feel like everything revolves around you, even when it doesn’t. They’re just trying to get a reaction out of you, so don’t give them the satisfaction. If they say something hurtful or try to make you feel bad, just brush it off. Don’t let their words affect how you see yourself.
#7. Don’t let them take advantage of you.
Narcissists are experts at getting their own way, no matter what. They’ll take advantage of you if you’re not careful, using guilt and manipulation to get what they want. It could be something small, like making them coffee, or something big, like cleaning their house. They’ll find a way to get it from you without giving anything in return. But when you stand up to them and refuse to let them exploit you, that’s when they really suffer. Don’t feel bad for not bending to their will. It’s okay to say no. Remember, narcissists only care about themselves, so it’s important to prioritize your own well-being above everything else.
#8. Never apologize for being yourself.
When a narcissist tries to make you doubt yourself, it’s natural to want to defend and apologize, but that only gives them more power. It’s like giving them permission to keep belittling you. Maybe you’ve been told you’re wrong for being who you are, or that your beliefs and needs don’t matter. But don’t apologize for being yourself. Stand up for who you are, even if it’s hard. Don’t let them make you feel bad. You don’t need their approval. You deserve respect, love, and kindness just as you are. So keep being true to yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
#9. Call them out on their behavior.
You should be brave about this. Narcissists really think highly of themselves and believe they’re better than everyone else, but they can’t handle criticism at all. They’ll do anything to avoid it and are pros at shifting the blame onto others. To make a narcissist suffer, you’ve got to call them out when they mess up or mistreat you. Don’t be overly friendly or polite; it’ll just give them the green light to keep being rude. They hate looking anything less than perfect in front of others, so they’ll try to avoid situations where they might get called out. Stand your ground and don’t let them get away with their behavior.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
#10. Stand firm to your boundaries.
Narcissists really don’t care about your feelings or opinions, so it’s crucial to set clear boundaries and stick to them. Even if they try to act nice, they’ll eventually try to manipulate you into doing things for them. Don’t fall for their tricks. You always have the right to say no or simply state, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” If they keep pushing you to give in to their demands, it’s time to take action. Remove yourself from the situation. They might try to make you feel guilty, but stand firm in your boundaries. This is all part of their game. They want to control you. Don’t let them. Hold your ground and don’t let them manipulate you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
Narcissists go to great lengths to shield their delicate self-esteem from criticism or situations where they might seem less than perfect. They’re so focused on protecting their image that they’ll do anything to maintain it. The best way to deal with narcissists and make them feel the consequences of their behavior is to distance yourself from them and cut them out of your life.
Read More: 9 Tactics to Put Narcissists in Their Place.
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