When it comes to narcissistic individuals, they don’t like many people. They only want to be around those who are serving them, who are feeding them, who are giving them the excessive praise, recognition, and attention.
There are several people that narcissistic individuals simply cannot tolerate, do not have the time for, or will go all out to sabotage in order to feel better about themselves.
#1: Those the narcissist is envious of.
One of the first of these is those that the narcissist is envious of, that the narcissist perceives to be doing better than themselves, that have something that the narcissist believes the other person has taken from them because the narcissistic individual doesn’t have that thing.
When it comes to narcissists, they thrive off that praise, recognition, and attention. Therefore, they harbor great resentment against those who are getting any form of praise, recognition, or attention. The narcissist believes that those people have stolen it from them.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
When it comes to narcissistic individuals, they are often very envious of others. However, they believe that other people are envious of them, so they will go all out to provoke jealousy within other people so that the narcissist can perceive in their reality that other people are envious of the narcissist. So, when it comes to those who don’t take the bait, who don’t bite, who don’t fall into that trap with the narcissist, narcissistic people can’t tolerate those because they need people to react, to act jealous, to act bitter, so that the narcissist can perceive themselves to be superior.
#2: Those with strong boundaries.
Narcissistic individuals cannot tolerate those who have strong boundaries. It threatens the narcissist’s sense of entitlement. They believe they are entitled to just have everything their own way, and when it doesn’t go their way, then you have betrayed them, you have criticized them in some way. This is why they will go out to try and guilt-trip or place that fear or that obligation within another person, in order to break down somebody else’s boundaries, to make out that your boundary is wrong in some way, that there is something wrong with you, so that you change your mind to serve them.
When this doesn’t work, it gets a narcissistic individual questioning their sense of superiority, and they really don’t like those who have strong boundaries. They will go all out to make out that there is something wrong with the other person’s boundaries to those around them. They will go on smear campaigns; they will go all out to damage the other person with the strong boundaries’ reputation so that the narcissist can feel better about their wounded ego because they felt criticized that you dared to say no to them or someone dared to say no to them.
#3: Those who question their authority.
Narcissistic people cannot tolerate those who question their authority. When a narcissist does something, they expect just to get away with doing it. If someone dares to question why they’ve done it and it’s immoral in some way, a narcissistic individual doesn’t take too kindly to this. If somebody calls them out for treating one child poorly compared to the other child—the golden child that they’re being ever so kind and supportive to, and the scapegoat who they’re neglecting—when somebody challenges their sense of authority, when somebody questions them, when somebody stands up to them, this is a direct hit.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
It’s a direct threat to the image that the narcissist is trying to sell to those around them, which is often why anybody who questions the narcissist’s authority, anybody who calls out the narcissist, the narcissistic individual will go all out to scapegoat these people, to blame them, to shame them in some way, to make it look like the person who’s calling the narcissist out is the one who is the problem, to make it look like the person who is calling the narcissist out is envious of the narcissist, is jealous of the narcissist, is trying to take the narcissist down. The narcissist projects where they’re going to make it look like the person who is calling them out is trying to destroy the narcissist, which is what the narcissist is doing to those who can reveal the narcissist’s true character, who can expose the narcissist for who they are and what they are doing to others.
#4: Those who have different opinions.
Narcissistic people really can’t tolerate those who have a different opinion to them. Narcissistic individuals take this as criticism. They believe that you’re betraying them in some way. They also fear rejection, so by you not readily agreeing to their opinion, they feel like they’ve been rejected. Narcissists lack the empathy to have the ability to see another person’s point of view, so if you don’t agree with them, you’ve gone against them, or you’re taking their side—”Oh, you never take my side. You’re never there for me. You never support me.” Or they’re going to make out that there is something wrong with your opinion, or they’re going to make out that you are attacking them so that they can play the victim in the given situation.
A narcissistic individual expects everybody to readily agree with them, and if you don’t, they might accuse you of just being envious of them. They might accuse you of being awkward, stubborn, and selfish, similar to if you try to create a boundary around a narcissist because they’ve taken offense to this. They want to make out that there is something wrong with your boundaries rather than that there is something wrong with their behavior. Similar to if you question their sense of authority, if you call them out, they want to make out that there is something wrong with your perception of reality. They will go all out to gaslight you in order to regain control over the situation so that they can blame you shame you and make you feel inadequate in some way and unworthy in some way, which again is a narcissist’s projection.
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Because deep down, they feel inadequate, they feel unworthy, which is why they are constantly comparing themselves to other people and then blaming and shaming other people. This is why they can’t stand you having a different opinion to them. You must just agree with them and align with them; otherwise, you are in the wrong in some way. You’ve betrayed them in some way, and when a narcissist perceives that you have betrayed them, they’re going to go all out to punish you because they feel that anger, they feel that resentment towards you. So, they’re seeking to sabotage you for who they are as a person.
When it comes to narcissistic individuals, they are going to push your buttons, they’re going to provoke you, they’re going to go all out to wind you up, and the more you stand your ground, the more annoyed they’re going to get with you. This is why it’s vital to continue to stand your ground so that they don’t learn what buttons they can push to get that reaction from you. Because when a narcissist is not getting their needs met from you, more often than not, they will leave you alone and, unfortunately, move on to a new source of supply.
Read More: Avoid Making These Big Mistakes With a Narcissist.
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