5 Dirty Ways a Narcissist Ends a Relationship

5 Dirty Ways a Narcissist Ends a Relationship

When relationships come to an end, it’s always tough. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist, the end of a relationship can be even more painful and confusing. Narcissists are people who have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Because of these traits, they often use manipulative and hurtful tactics to end relationships, leaving their partners in emotional turmoil.

In this article, we will explore five common but destructive tactics narcissists use to end relationships.

Number 1: The Silent Treatment and Ghosting.

Narcissists may suddenly cut off all communication with their partners without any explanation. This is often referred to as the silent treatment or ghosting. They might block phone numbers, stop answering texts, disappear from social media, and vanish from shared spaces, leaving their partners in a state of confusion and distress. For example, imagine Anna, who suddenly finds herself unable to contact her boyfriend Mark. After weeks of affectionate communication, he stops responding to her messages, blocks her on social media, and doesn’t show up at their usual meeting spots. Anna is left wondering what she did wrong, with no closure or explanation, spiraling into self-blame and despair.

Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.

Number 2: Blame Shifting and Gaslighting.

Narcissists often end relationships by shifting the blame onto their partners, accusing them of being the cause of the relationship’s failure. Gaslighting is frequently employed in conjunction, where the narcissist distorts reality to make their partner doubt their own perceptions and sanity. For example, David, a narcissist, frequently cheats on his girlfriend Sarah. When Sarah confronts him with evidence, David accuses her of being paranoid and controlling. He blames her trust issues for driving a wedge between them and eventually uses this argument to justify ending the relationship. Sarah is left doubting her own judgment and feeling at fault for the relationship’s demise.

For More: 10 Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Use to Control You.

Number 3: Triangulation and Infidelity.

Narcissists often introduce a third party into the relationship to create jealousy, rivalry, and insecurity. This tactic, known as triangulation, involves bringing in another person—a new partner, ex, or even a friend—to manipulate and destabilize their current partner. For example, Maria notices her husband John spending a lot of time with his new coworker Emma. He frequently mentions how Emma understands him better and starts comparing Maria unfavorably to her. Maria becomes increasingly insecure and confronts John, only for him to accuse her of being jealous and controlling. Eventually, John leaves Maria for Emma, claiming he needs someone who trusts him more.

Related: 9 Signs You Are Dating a Cheating Narcissist.

Number 4: Sudden Devaluation and Discard.

Narcissists often follow a pattern of idealization, devaluation, and discard in their relationships. After initially idealizing their partner and placing them on a pedestal, they abruptly shift to devaluation, highlighting every flaw and criticizing them relentlessly. Finally, they discard their partner as if they were worthless. For example, Tom starts his relationship with Jessica by showering her with compliments and affection, making her feel like the most important person in his life. After a few months, he begins to criticize her appearance, intelligence, and habits. When Jessica tries to address the changes in his behavior, Tom coldly tells her he’s no longer interested and abruptly ends the relationship, leaving Jessica heartbroken and questioning her worth.

Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.

Number 5: Public Humiliation and Smear Campaigns.

In more extreme cases, narcissists end relationships by publicly humiliating their partners and engaging in smear campaigns. They spread false information, rumors, and lies about their partner to tarnish their reputation and isolate them from their social support network. For example, after breaking up with Lucy, Paul starts spreading rumors about her at their workplace and among mutual friends. He tells everyone that Lucy was unfaithful and emotionally unstable, framing himself as the innocent party. Lucy finds herself ostracized and alone, struggling to defend herself against the lies while dealing with the emotional aftermath of the breakup.

In conclusion, narcissistic breakups are often characterized by manipulation, emotional abuse, and a lack of empathy. These tactics—silent treatment and ghosting, blame-shifting and gaslighting, triangulation and infidelity, sudden devaluation and discard, and public humiliation and smear campaigns—reveal the narcissist’s need for control and their disregard for their partner’s emotional well-being.

Read More: 10 Weird Signs of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome.

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