Narcissists are nothing if they’re not predictable. They all tend to say the same things or different versions of the same thing. But there are also things that you will never catch them saying, at least not with any meaning or intention behind it. So, in this article, we’re going to explore all the things that narcissists will never say. Stay tuned.
I never like to speak in absolutes, so will you hear these words come out of somebody’s mouth? Maybe. But if you do, and if that person happens to be a narcissist, they’re not going to mean it. And how are you going to know that they’re not going to mean it? Because their actions and their words are not going to be aligned. They’re going to say one thing and do another. If you have any questions about that in the moment, it becomes clear before too long that what they said, they did not mean.
So let’s get right to the seven things narcissists will never say, and especially never mean.
Number 1: “I’m Sorry”
This is the number one thing that narcissists will never say. And if they do say it, they will never mean it, and it will become very, very clear that they don’t.
So, I have an article about the narcissist’s fauxpology, and that is about when the narcissist actually does say the words “I’m sorry,” but they don’t mean it. It becomes very, very obvious that they don’t mean it very soon after they apologize. In that article, I cover the signs of a sincere apology and how to tell the difference. If you’re interested in that, you can check it out from here, and I suggest you check it out.
Number 2: “It Was All My Fault”
The second thing that you will never catch a narcissist saying, especially not in any sincere way, is, “It was all my fault. Oh no, I really messed up this time.” After all, they’re perfect, and it’s everyone else who’s the problem. You’ll find narcissists blame-shifting all the time, and you’ll also find them justifying their bad behavior. So even if the house is on fire, there’s no problem. “This is exactly what I meant to happen. This is how it’s supposed to be. It’s your problem. You can’t handle it.”
Reading Suggestion: 10 Signs You’re Dealing With a Truly Evil Person.
Number 3: “I Need Therapy”
The third thing that you will never, ever hear a narcissist say is, “I need therapy to work through some of my issues.” Now, we could all use a little help to work through some of the issues that we have. No one’s perfect, and no one has a perfect life. So we all encounter things that we kind of need help to get through or could really use it, and therapy is a great way to get that help from somebody who knows what they’re doing. But because narcissism prevents the narcissist from seeing that they have any real problems to work with, they don’t see a need for therapy. They often think that they know more than the therapist. They often do not respect the therapist that they go to see, if they do end up in any form of counseling.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
Number 4: “I Forgive You”
The fourth thing you’ll never hear a narcissist say is, “I forgive you.” Narcissists are very likely to hold grudges because they just have this superior attitude. They think things like, “Well, how dare you go against me?” And when you do, if you have the audacity to go against a narcissist or do something to offend them or upset them, they’re likely to think you did it on purpose, and they are not likely to forgive you for it. Couple that with the fact that the narcissist doesn’t really form a true connection with a person, so they can very easily cut somebody out of their life without a second thought, and they often do. So if you offend a narcissist, they’re not really the ones who are going to try to work it out and save the relationship. They’re much more likely to just cut you off and never speak to you again.
Related: 8 Phrases That Scream Narcissism.
Number 5: “I’m Feeling Very Vulnerable Right Now”
The fifth thing that you are not going to hear a narcissist say is, “I’m just feeling very vulnerable right now.” Narcissists don’t like to talk about their feelings, and that’s one of the reasons why they really don’t like therapy. You’re not going to hear them admit any sign of weakness unless possibly it’s going to help them in some way. If they’re desperate to get their way and showing some sort of weakness or feigning some sort of weakness is going to help them, they might do it. But they don’t mean it, and they don’t want to open up and share their feelings and all the things that might come along with somebody admitting vulnerability.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Number 6: “I’m Happy to Give and Get Nothing in Return”
The sixth thing that you are not likely to hear a narcissist say is, “I am happy to give and get nothing in return.” Now, again, this is one of those that you might hear the words come out of their mouth, but it just doesn’t mean anything. You know that if this person does you a favor, you are in their debt. You owe them something, and whether they come out and say it or not, usually they will. “I did this for you, now you have to do this for me.” It is very tit for tat. By nature, narcissists are very selfish people. They do not do for others without thinking about what they can get in return. If that’s nothing, if there’s absolutely nothing they can get in return, then they’re not going to do that thing.
Reading suggestion: 10 Lies All Narcissists Tell.
That’s something that we see when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, whatever kind of relationship it is, and you become sick. The narcissist may help you if they can get something in return, but oftentimes when you’re sick, there’s no immediate return on that. If somebody helps you, it’s because they care about you, and they want to see you get better. That’s not something you can expect from a narcissist. I have an article about what happens when you’re sick around a narcissist, you can check it out here.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 7: “I Am So Angry with You, But I Still Love You”
The seventh thing that you’ll never hear a narcissist say is, “I am so angry with you, but I still love you.” Narcissists harbor this very black-and-white way of thinking. You are either all good, or you are all bad. So if they are angry with you, you might get the feeling that they hate you, they can’t stand you, when hours earlier, everything was fine, and you thought you had a good relationship with this person. Then suddenly, the tides turn so quickly that your head is left spinning. It’s because of this black-and-white way of thinking. This makes it difficult to make up with a narcissist. Let’s just say you admit fault, and you just want peace. You want everything to be fine and happy. If they’re really angry with you, they’re very unlikely to accept your apology, and that goes back to holding grudges. They’re very likely to cut you out of their life if the perceived slight was big enough or if they don’t feel like you’re providing enough value in their life.
When you encounter a narcissist or even somebody who’s very highly narcissistic, it’s all about them, and that is no surprise. Our biggest struggles come when we try to play by normal rules with a narcissist. But here’s the thing: most of us just want to play by normal rules. We do not want to play by a set of rules that is not mutually beneficial. But with a narcissist, that is what you’re always going to get. They are always going to be about self, and that’s it.
Read More: 5 Sadistic Things Narcissists Find Funny.
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