Several things that narcissistic individuals will weaponize against others so that they can remain in control, so that they can feel superior. Narcissists are very good at weaponizing various aspects of interpersonal relationships and personal vulnerabilities in order to exploit these for the narcissist’s own needs.
There are several common things that a narcissist will weaponize:
#1: Your emotions.
Never tell a narcissist how you feel because they will go all out to make you feel worse, and they will go all out to use those feelings against you to hurt you further down the line. Narcissists manipulate your emotions to control and exploit you. They might use your empathy, your guilt, or your fears against you to make you comply with their demands or keep you off balance. A narcissistic individual can go all out to play the victim in order to elicit your sympathetic attention and manipulate you into doing something for them or enabling them. They may induce guilt by reminding you of your past mistakes to control your behavior.
When it comes to a narcissistic individual that fails to take responsibility, they’re going to look to scapegoat somebody else, so they will smear somebody else’s name so that you make a poor judgment on that person and give the narcissist all the sympathetic attention. When it comes to dealing with this, maintain strong emotional boundaries and be aware of your own personal emotional triggers. Recognize when someone is trying to manipulate your feelings and take a step back to evaluate the situation objectively. Don’t get involved in third-party disputes when you don’t have the full version of events; you just have one person’s side of the story. Seek support from trusted people.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
#2: Your secrets and your vulnerabilities.
Narcissists often gather very personal information about you and then, later down the line, they use that information against you to crush you. They might exploit your insecurities, your fears, and your past traumas to manipulate and hurt you. You can tell them something in the strictest of confidence, and they will tell someone else. And then if you ask them about this, “Oh, you never told me not to tell anybody else.”
Sharing personal secrets in confidence with a narcissist only for them to later down the line bring them up in an argument to undermine you or humiliate you is devastating. Be cautious about sharing personal information with individuals that you’ve only just met or individuals with narcissistic traits. Build trust slowly. Observe their behaviors before disclosing sensitive information about yourself. If they do exploit your vulnerabilities, stand firm in your boundaries and refuse to engage in their manipulative tactics. Recognize them for who they are and not who they sold themselves to be.
#3: Your achievements and your success.
Narcissists may belittle or diminish your accomplishments to keep you feeling like you’re not enough, to keep you feeling insecure and dependent on their approval. They might take the credit for your success to boost their own ego. When it comes to a narcissistic individual, you can go all out to work hard on something, work hard on a project, but the narcissistic individual will dismiss your efforts by claiming that it was easy or that anyone could do it. They might claim that your success was due to their guidance and their support, that you wouldn’t have been able to do it without them.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse
Learn to validate your own achievements. Seek recognition from supportive people, genuine people who appreciate your achievements. Keep records of your achievements and your accomplishments to remind yourself that you are capable. If you see another human being doing something, you are capable of achieving that if you want to and if you’re willing to have the willpower and a strong enough desire to keep going, no matter how hard it gets.
#4: Your relationships.
When it comes to narcissistic individuals, they’re often very envious of your relationships with others, and they will attempt to isolate you from your friends and your family to make you dependent on the narcissist. They might slowly start to spread rumors and create conflict. They will go all out to turn you against others and turn others against you, claiming they don’t trust that family member or that friend of yours. They might tell your friends or family that you’ve said negative things about them, causing misunderstandings and creating that distance from your support network. When it comes to this, maintain open and honest communication with your loved ones. Let them know about any attempts to create that conflict and encourage direct conversations to resolve any misunderstandings. Strengthen your support network and counteract any isolation tactics.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
#5: Your needs and desires.
A narcissist will get to know what your desires are, and then they will claim they want the same things as you and promise them to you down the future. And then you find it hard to separate from them because you know how much it means to you, and you believe it means the same to them when it simply does not. Narcissists manipulate your needs and desires to keep you compliant. They might promise to fulfill your wishes but only if it serves their own agenda, or they might use your aspirations to control you. They may promise you a reward like a vacation or a promotion if you meet their demands, but they never follow through. Be clear about your own goals and your own needs and don’t rely on anyone else to fulfill them. Pursue your aspirations independently and seek support from reliable sources. Recognize empty promises and avoid getting tangled up in manipulative schemes.
#6: Information and knowledge.
Narcissistic individuals go all out to withhold important information and knowledge so that they can maintain control over you, things that you actually need to know. They might distort facts or lie to keep you misinformed and dependent on them for clarity. In a work setting, they might keep you out of the loop on critical details about a project to ensure that you can’t succeed without their input. Seek information from multiple sources for clarity. Verify facts independently. Don’t rely solely on one person for knowledge or guidance. Foster your own expertise in areas and reduce your dependence on a narcissistic individual.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
#7: Your time and your energy.
Narcissistic individuals often demand excessive amounts of time and energy, leaving you drained and less able to focus on your own needs. They might do this through that constant crisis where they desperately need you, demanding your attention or having unreasonable expectations from you. Of course, they get the major face when they don’t get the attention they require from you, making you feel guilty so that they can get their needs met by you. They might frequently create those false emergencies to gain your immediate attention, to disrupt your plans, or to simply exhaust you.
Set firm boundaries about your time and your energy. Prioritize your needs and your commitments. Don’t feel that false guilt that somebody else is trying to drive into you. Don’t allow the narcissist to monopolize your schedule. Recognize that they don’t respect who you are as a person; they just want to get their own way with you. Prioritize your pre-arranged commitments and recognize their patterns of behavior.
Read More: 4 Types Of People The Narcissist Can Not Tolerate.
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